Looney Toon Watch: Russia

This article was brought to my attention via Andrew Sullivan's blog over at the Atlantic Monthly. And I was so impressed by it, that I decided it deserved mention on my even more prestigious blog (in your face, Sullivan).

The picture is the best part, so click on the link, but here's the opening line from the article:

A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.

The cute, naked, little children are a nice touch, don't you think?

Oh, Russia, you're all a bunch of looney toons!

Bonus question: Anyone who can correctly pronounce the name of that town will be featured as my next Jolly Good Person.

Wisdom

Wise words from Garrison Keillor:

People who aren't real to each other are dangerous to each other. Stories give us the simple empathy that is the basis of the Golden Rule, which is the basis of civilized society.

The whole column is really great, one of his best of late.

Unbelievable Ignorant Ass Watch: President Shrub

Here we go again. In response to the flooding in Gulfport, IL, where the levee just broke:

"I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as president," Bush said after a briefing on the flooding.

Do you think John McCain cries every time this ignorant fool opens his mouth? I mean, gee, George, maybe seeing as how you've been President of the United States for 8 years, you could have done something to prevent the levees from breaking.

Oh, and how has our next president been responding to this disaster? He's been doing something about it:

Looney Toon Watch: Sen. John Cornyn

Whoa.

Video: Obama on Father's Day

Here is how Obama will reclaim "family" as a Democratic value.



Damn, he's good.

Presidential Election Prediction

I think Obama is going to turn the electoral map on its head, competing in some southern states and breaking the Republican lock on the mountain west. I predict that Obama wins in November with about 380 electoral votes. And furthermore, if I'm wrong, it'll be because I'm low.

Oooo, look at me, going out on a limb. I'm so dangerous! Zoolander face.

Jolly Good Person Watch

I'm digging the recurring nature of many of my posts, so today I'd like to start up another thread. It's kind of a counterbalance to the Looney Toon Watch, and I'm calling it the Jolly Good Person Watch. Now, this flies in the face of my innate cynicism, but I like to think of myself as a happy cynic: one who assumes the worst but holds out hope for something better.

So in that spirit, I am pleased to announce that today's Jolly Good Person is Howard Dean, the man who turned me from a cynical cynic into a happy cynic.

The reason the Chairman of the Democratic Party gets to be my first Jolly Good Person is because today Barack Obama's campaign announced that they would actively compete in all 50 states. The Democrats haven't had a candidate who ran in all 50 states since, well, before there were 50 states.

Obama deserves major kudos for this decision, of course, and he seems to be a jolly good person in his own right, but Howard Dean laid the groundwork for Obama to even be in a position to make such a decision. In his 4 years as DNC Chair, Dean has actively persued a 50 state strategy to help Democrats at all levels of the ballot, and the party now has permanent paid staff in every state. That paid staff is in no small part responsible for the crazy ridiculous voter turnout for the Democratic candidates during the primary season. And they will be a critical part of Obama's campaign to win the general election.

I was as passionate a Dean supporter 4 years ago as you could find, and I was totally crushed when his campaign for president ended. But now, 4 years later, I am convinced that that was the best thing that could have happened, and that Dean is far better off as DNC Chair, where he really has represented and restored the "Democratic Wing of the Democratic Party."

He is a jolly good person, who deserves enormous credit for his long-term vision to help steer this country back on track.

And you can bet Barack Obama knows how lucky he is to have Dean at the DNC.

Speech Summaries

John McCain said...

My friends, let us recognize the distinguished service of Senator Clinton and the profound campaign she has run. My friends, she has inspired us all, and by all rights should have been the Democratic nominee. My friends, I am proud to call her my friend. In fact, my friends, she is more than just a friend to me. My friends, I think I am in love with Hillary Clinton. She is my hero, my friends. And, my friends, I congratulate her on her historic campaign and for trying to show the American people how wrong an Obama presidency would be for our great nation.

My friends, Senator Obama talks a lot about change. And if I didn't have to go to bed soon, I would take this time to rattle off a bunch of untruths about things he has said and done, my friends, that clearly and convincingly show that he is not offering change we can believe in. Most importantly, he won't go to Iraq with me, my friends. He is an unpatriotic, terrorist-loving, NPR-listening, latte-drinking, volvo-driving, tax-and-spend liberal communist traitor who will lead this country to its ruin.

That is the hope and optimism I offer you, my friends. I will lead this coun-- (watching their ratings plummet before their eyes, all the networks cut away to talk about exit polling...)

Hillary Clinton said...

Thank you everyone for joining me in the basement tonight to celebrate our win in South Dakota! I appreciate your support, South Dakota, and I thank all of my supporters there for their hard work.

I also want to congratulate Barack Obama.

Now, back to me. A lot of people are asking, 'What does Hillary want?" Well, let me tell you what I want. I want the same things I've wanted this entire campaign. I want health insurance for all Americans! I want our troops out of Iraq, even though I helped put them there! I want to save the planet! And I want someone to hurry up and find some juicy dirt on Barack so I can be the nominee!

Because of all of this, I am not going to make any decisions tonight. You all voted for me, and you deserve respect for that. I'm going to get it for you, even if it means losing in November! That's how deep my devotion to you goes!

(Also, please go to HillaryClinton.com and send me some money because I'm broke.)

Barack Obama said... well, watch for yourself, because I can't joke on something so awesome and inspiring: