Try and stick with me...

I just dropped a vitamin on the floor in my cubical. Accidentally of course. But the charming dark paisley pattern of the carpet has provided the pill total camouflage. Someday, I'm sure, someone will find the lonely little goob of flaxseed oil. I wonder what happens to flaxseed oil if it sits out for weeks? Months? Years?

All of this led me to the following question: what does a flaxseed pill look like inside? Is it liquid? Or some kind of gelatinous goo? If they didn't cost so damn much, I'd go ahead and open one up to see. This one that's rolling around on the ground right now would be the perfect sacrificial subject, if only I could find it.

Speaking of rolling around, I swear that one of my cats did a somersault this morning. I had only been out of bed for about 5 minutes, which means I was practically still asleep, but it seemed pretty vivid at the time. And not altogether unlikely. He's demonstrated some impressive athletic ability before. Like the time he walked from my living room to the bedroom on only his front two paws.

And speaking of far-fetched stories, I don't know if this is for real, but it is side-splitting funny (headphones advisable if at work). To set it up, I'll just say that its a story involving a redneck, four little old women, an umbrella, and a very descriptive narrator.

And speaking of crazy shit, my friend wants me to try singing Xanadu the next time we go out for karaoke. I'd have to be in a very special drunken state to do that. Yikes.

Also speaking of crazy shit, this random guy at the gym last night approached my trainer to tell her that she needed a little more mascara. And also to educate her on the little known fact about the English language, that the letter K can be used to replace the letter C, but the letter C cannot be used to replace the letter K. After he left, we spent the rest of our training session scripting the experience into an entire episode of Seinfeld. The episode revolved around Kramer, who made the suggestion to Elaine regarding the mascara. Elaine then made the comment about the K's and C's, which led Jerry into suggesting, since K can be used instead of C, that Kramer respell his name to Cramer. And then George flipped out because that would be such a big commitment - after all, once you go to C you can't go back!

We declared ourselves brilliant after all that. I'm sure you agree with our assessment.

Also, while I was at the gym last night, and, also, speaking of funny sitcoms, Family Guy was on 2 of the 4 televisions, and everyone on the cardio equipment was laughing in tandem. It was totally awesome.

And finally, speaking of televised fiction, I watched the pilot episode of the remake of Flash Gordon last night. Holy suck! They get the award for worst casting ever. The woman playing Dale was okay, but the guys they got for Flash and Ming were entirely unconvincing. And the story itself was awful and completely not believable. Two twentysomething former lovers do not suddenly get sucked into a dimensional portal and wind up in the prison of some alien emperor without feeling a little freaked out. Instead, they offered their cell mate a piece of gum. WTF?