Fanmail Friday

Today is Friday, which starts with the letter 'F'. Fanmail also starts with the letter 'F', so I thought I'd take advantage of this wacky coincidence to open a few letters. (Think Strongbad without the sweet animation. And the cute but unidentifiable sidekick.)

Dear svenden,
You so dope, yo!
Sincerely,
Hizzah (in da hood, yo)

Thank you so much for the compliment, Hizzah. I've been having a crappy day at work, so you have no idea how much your thoughtfulness has brightened my day! Although I do want to be clear on one thing in the event that for some unforeseeable reason I ever decide to run for public office: I do not now, nor have I ever, condoned the use of dope or any other illegal substance, no matter how incredibly awesome it might make you feel. Life isn't about having fun or letting loose, its about following the rules, even when they're dumb.

Dear svenden,
I gather from your blog that you're a sci-fi geek like me. What do you think of all the rumors running around that Tom Cruise has been cast in the upcoming Star Trek movie?
Thanks,
imarriedavulcan@hotmail.com

Wow, you got me pegged, you Vulcan-lover you! I was actually once a crazy Trekkie, but I've mostly left that in my past. Still, I can't help but be interested in the new movie. Although there's not really anything about it that has me excited. A prequel? Recasting Kirk and Spock? Seems rather illogical to me (Ohhhh, I got you there, didn't I?!). And Tom Cruise? It just kind of seems like they're trying to scare away all of the Star Trek fans. And all of the normal, mentally healthy people in the world, too. But, at least they'll get all of Tom Cruise's fans to the movie. Well, whichever ones aren't already living on another planet, schmanet, Janet.

Okay, I got time for one more:

hay their svenden,
totally din't meen 2 do it but i swallohd my pay chek how do i git it bak?
k thx,
rOb

Wow rOb (wtf?), that sucks for you. But these things do happen. I suppose. Anyway, you're in luck, because I can actually get another check sent out to you right away. I know people. All I need you to do is send me $30 for the 1-hour shipping cost. Given your questionable intelligence, I can only accept undigested cash. Give me a call and we can arrange a meeting place.

Well thanks to all of you, my 5.9 readers, for your letters! It's good to feel the love every now and then. Keep 'em coming!