The best part is it would bring an end to airports and airlines

I try not to use this blog as a passive email forwarding system, but in this case I'm making an exception. This news is one of the coolest things I've heard in a long time:

According to LiveScience, the university's Joint Quantum Institute for the first time was able to teleport information between two separate atoms across a distance of a meter--about one step for an adult.

Its entirely crazy to think about. What if they did this with a human being? Is the destination person really the same as the original person? Does the original person go away, or is this really just a new-fangled way to clone? Can this become a correctional medical device? Instead of plastic surgery, you just beam yourself across the room and switch a few molecules around in your nose in the process to make it less pointy? What about clothing? I've got a shirt that's a little too snug, can I enlarge it when I teleport it to my closet? Can it be used to target certain things? Can I instantly beam all of the spiders out of my house and into my neighbor's backyard? Think of the fun it could offer while driving! You could beam entire vehicles out of your way! Although I suppose we wouldn't need to drive at all. Ooo! What about food? What if we could beam all those pesky little bones out of fillet of fish before we eat it? Or how about garlic! Its such a pain to get the outer skin off of a clove of garlic, I'd love to be able to just beam it off.

So many possibilities! Lets pump some funding this way, Mr. President!

I Can Get Behind That

There has been a lot of debate over the past 36 hours about President Obama's inaugural address. Many have expressed disappointment in the speech, saying that it needed to be more uplifting, more optimistic, more soaring in its rhetoric. It certainly was not a typical Obama speech, and that caught people by surprise -- me included.

But for 8 years we've had a president who was afraid, unable, or unwilling to be straight with us. He was a president who asked us time and again to trust him to make things right, only to betray that trust at every opportunity. We don't need another president like that, and we didn't need another speech like that either.

Instead, President Obama knew that the worst possible thing that could happen right now is for the American people to disengage, to be lulled into a false sense of security by an overconfident leader offering more than he alone could possibly deliver. As great as he is, Obama is only one man, and he cannot fix this country by himself. It wasn't just rhetoric when he said, "as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies." It was the truth. The entire speech was about the truth, about leveling with us about the challenges we face and the difficult road that lies ahead, but also building our confidence not just in government, but in ourselves.

Obama said exactly what he needed to say, even if it wasn't what we wanted to hear. And in doing so, our President demonstrated his courage by resisting the temptation to give the soaring, but ultimately empty, speech we were all expecting. And he demonstrated his faith in, and respect for, we the people, knowing that we will overcome these challenges and prove our worth once more. He is the embodiment of government by the people and for the people, and for that we should all be grateful and proud.

This was the perfect speech, the right speech, the only speech. And that, my fellow Americans, is something we should all get behind.

Jolly Good Person Watch: Rev. Joseph Lowery

I dare say, Rev. Lowery stole the show today. I can't say I've ever heard such a poetic prayer:

Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.

Amen!!

(See, if religion always spoke with such words and led by such example, this atheist might just join the flock.)

Looney Toon Watch: Pope Benedict XVI

The Pope - this would be the straight old white man (the Pope is only allowed to be a straight old white man) who speaks on behalf of the entire Catholic Church and all Catholics the world 'round - this week reinforced the Church's homophobic bigotry by equating the threat of homosexuality with the need to save the planet:

Pope Benedict XVI has said that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

He explained that defending God's creation is not limited to saving the environment, but also protecting man from self-destruction.

Apparently the planet's only worth saving if we can rid it of all the faggots in the process.

You can read the entire speech via the Vatican's web site, but only if you know Italian. (Pray to God tonight and if you're really good, he'll download the entire language into your brain while you sleep.)

Pope Benedict, now is the point in this blog entry when I call you one heckuva looney toon. But you're also one heckuva bigot. I'd say that to your face, but I have other equally important things to do, like converting to Buddhism and picking my nose (that's a form of meditation).

Unbelievable Ignorant Ass Watch: Vice President Dick

Who better to resurrect this theme with than the Unholy Lord of Darkness himself, Vice President Dick Cheney?

Really, we should be grateful to Mr. Cheney, for giving us a reminder of just how rejoiceful we should be on January 20th when he is no longer in a position to destroy the moral fabric of our great nation.



You have to admire his compuction. I bet he wouldn't crumble under interrogation tactics like waterboarding...

I told you so

On June 12, 2008, I said this:

I think Obama is going to turn the electoral map on its head, competing in some southern states and breaking the Republican lock on the mountain west. I predict that Obama wins in November with about 380 electoral votes. And furthermore, if I'm wrong, it'll be because I'm low.

(Well, okay, I got a little cocky there at the end. Still, give me some props, huh?)

Jolly Good Person Watch

Today's Jolly Good Person is Jon Stewart, who recently took Mike Huckabee to task for his opposition to marriage equality. Now, lots of people have argued for and against this issue, but what sets Jon Stewart apart is his surprising ability to articulate his views, and his rarest of abilities to not seem confrontational or judgmental in doing so.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Stewart/Colbert in 2016!

Ba(ra)ck.

At least 2 of my 11.922 readers have expressed concern over my conspicuous absence of late. Conspicuous because, you know, some stuff has been going on in the world that is ripe for blogging about. I'm referring to Britney, of course.

Oh, and the whole Obama thing.

You can actually blame Obama for my going MIA if you like. You see, his election as President threw me into quite an introspective mood. Its taken some time to find words for exactly how I feel about it. And without words, how do you blog?

It was quite an election, one for the history books, clearly. Everyone reacts differently to something like that. Going into election night, knowing that Obama was likely to win, I kind of expected that I would jump for joy, or cry, or burst into sparkles because I couldn't contain my excitement.

Instead, at 10:00 on election night, when the networks raced to get their flashy "Obama Wins!" graphics on screen, I sighed. I sighed the biggest sigh of my life. It just kept coming out, as if I'd been holding my breath for 8 years. 8 long years of fear, shock, disbelief, horror, disgust, and shame, all over at last. More than anything else, I was relieved.

Relieved that the campaign was over. Relieved that the Bush years were almost over. Relieved that John McCain wasn't going to be our next president. Relieved that Sarah Palin wasn't going to be our next president. Relieved that voters had made the right choice. Relieved that intelligence, rationality, and sensibility were returning to government. Relieved that no one got shot or killed.

Relieved to have my faith in my country restored, and to be a proud American for the first time in my adult life.

Shortly after the election, I was speaking to a friend who voted for McCain. He was cautioning against putting too much faith and hope at the feet of one man, and I explained to him that my hope and optimism for the future was born not just from the president I believe Obama will be, but also from the new sense of patriotism that he had magically inspired in people across the country. I feel like I live in the United States of America again. People are engaged and passionate about their country, they've woken up and are ready to be heard again. We've got something to prove, and we're proving it.

Have you seen this?



That is what gives me hope. (And goosebumps, every time.)

Books going the way of music?

This is an interesting read about the implications of Amazon.com's Kindle and other digital book readers. (Simply put, the Kindle is to books and magazines as the iPod is to music.)

I immediately rejected the very notion as nonsense. Afterall, part of the joy of reading books is in flipping the pages, feeling the covers, and even smelling the newness (or oldness) of the paper. The physical, tactile aspect of reading is important and necessary. Reading from an electronic pad would rob the other senses of sharing in the experience. Why, it'd be like eating without being able to see or smell the food!

But it was not too many years ago when I had similar feelings about music. What about the CD art and liner notes? Won't the MP3 revolution banish the "album" to the past? I take pride in my giant 300-capacity CD stand and all of the treasures it holds. And its fun flipping through the CDs to find just right music for the occasion.

Ultimately, of course--and with surprisingly little resistance--all of those concerns gave way to the lifestyle-changing convenience offered by my iPod. I now have my entire music collection at home, at work, on the bus, at the gym, in the car, in bed, in the bathroom, on vacation. MP3s are cheaper, easier to find, faster to obtain, and less environmentally wasteful than CDs ever were or could be. iTunes even offers a jukebox-style interface for those of us who love to "flip" through our music collection. And really, did you ever look at the liner notes more than once? No, you didn't. And be honest: you don't miss them at all.

So here I sit, looking around my living room... at the three overflowing bookcases (one of which used to be my CD stand)... at all the space they take up and all the trees that died in order to make me feel really intelligent (I've only read about 10% of the books I have on display)... at all the dust that blankets the uneven rows of books. And I think about how many times I've gone on vacation and found myself wishing I'd brought along that new sci fi novel instead of this FDR biography. And all the heavy boxes full of books that I've been lugging around with me in life, the strained back muscles and the crushed toes.

And suddenly it seems an awfully neat idea to have my entire library at my fingertips, on a smooth, shiny little electronic device. I'm sure there will be leather covers we'll be able to slip our Kindles into. Who knows, maybe they could even infuse them with a slight musky aroma.

And think of all the stuff I could buy to take the place of those monstrous book shelves!

Looney Toon Watch: Laurie Coleman

This one is priceless, folks. Truly.

Laurie Coleman, former runway model and wife of Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN), has invented a truly remarkable product: The Blo & Go hands-free blowdryer holster.

You must read the Washington Post article on this. It touches on the somewhat suspect connotations that this product's name generates:

Coleman's voice registers shock -- and dismay-- that anyone would make such a connection. "I didn't think of that," she says. And then she goes further to point out that the name wasn't even her idea. It came out of a committee. It was all in the brainstorming, during which "Freedom Styler" was rejected. And so it went: You get your hair blown out. You need a blowout. You get blown . . . out. And then you go. Bingo: "Blo & Go!"

Coleman's portable little device doesn't grip the nozzle of the blow-dryer; instead, it cradles the handle. It holds by suction to any flat surface such as a mirror. "I needed something of great quality that was really going to stay up," she says. "The whole key to this is the suction."

They tried to get a quote from Norm, but he at least had the smarts to realize the political sensitivity of this. Too bad they didn't ask his election opponent, Al Franken, to weigh in. I'm sure he wouldn't mind going on the record on this one.

Laurie Coleman, you're not only one heckuva looney toon, you're the looniest toon I've featured so far.